Monday, October 24, 2011

IDENTITY / PERSONA: symbols of the self (?)

so much of my (perceived) identity feels wrapped up in external symbols - the hair cut/color i spent years developing, the cowboy boots that rarely left my feet, my violin (that violin), being a violinist...

what happens when you let go? what's left? who's left?

currently, i sit in a body-based studio space whose mission is to foster inquiry, experimentation, and process. no violin. different shoes. new hair.

it feels monumental.

how can these symbols hold so much and yet mean nothing at all?
the tricks of the mind...
the tricks of the ego...

it feels very fragile - like a fawn taking its first awkward steps - and like it is so obviously exuding from every pore, i might as well be wearing a huge neon sign and yelling through a megaphone. transforming. publicly. elements of this are very uncomfortable and unsettling. yet, it somehow feels like a symbol of strength - a new level of willingness to be vulnerable born out of a new sense of self. true self.

...lesson after lesson in what great strength comes through vulnerability...

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